this one wins please leave
waking up your friend the morning after a sleepover like
I DONT THINK IVE EVER LAUGHED THIS HARD IN MY LIFE
do white people even have responsibilities n shit like how the fuck do you have time to do this nonsense
THAT FUCKING COMMENT
one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’
is this the same dad that once called you dad
no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in my home lab in the basement. speaking of that, the three armed one just got out again god damnit
I met Luke skywalker today (: I love Star Trek!
Don’t be rude….. Why can’t I be a Trekkie and proud? “Falcon Punch!!!” Amiright?
Just incase this isn’t a joke. Harrison Ford played Han Solo in Star wars
No sweetie……. You’re confused…….. You’re thinking about Yoda from Star Fox (:
75% OF 5SOS HAS TATTOOS AND 50% OF 5SOS HAS FACIAL PIERCINGS AND 100% OF THE 5SOSFAM IS DYING
listening to your favorite song as it gets closer to the chorus
happy 4th july….
i need to get something off my chest
*takes off my nipple*
this fandom is so weird though like who even makes these?
we need help
if u can’t afford pizza u can’t afford me
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
There are normal people who accept their awards with grace, and then we have All Time Low.