sadeon:

if your girlfriend is cold, be a gentleman. put her in the oven for 40 minutes on 350. check often and serve plain or with white gravy

green-tea-rex:

It’s 1am so I’m sorry for the people who won’t see this. But if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too.

sarcalstic:

proof that Luke is an emoji in real life
your argument is invalid

ultrafunnypictures:

This is getting ridiculous…

ultrafunnypictures:

This is getting ridiculous…

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

meladoodle:

i said brb to a guy on facebook 4 years ago and just now he replied ‘u back yet?’

folk-punk:

dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss

of-castles-and-converses:

telekineticjensen:

Best kid ever.

Finally a kid doesn’t have to be saved

yungbasedblogger:

apparently “bae” means “before anyone else” i always thought it was a ghetto word for “babe”

alzix:

I live in constant fear of being shit on by a bird

starryashton:

Ashton can do so many things.
Need a guitarist? Ashton
Need a bassist? Ashton
Need a lead singer? Ashton
Need someone to make you smile? Ashton
Need someone to ruin your life forever? Ashton

Tumblr Mouse Cursors